August 9, 2017

A year since Brazil?

I can't believe it's almost been a full year since Tarryn Fisher and I were in Brazil. And while being in Brazil and getting to meet all of our readers there was an unbelievable experience that I'll treasure forever, the trip was about so much more for me personally.

That trip was life changing in ways I can't even begin to put into words for you here. It was the start of an intense personal transformation for me- one I never saw coming and could have never predicted. So much happened....

I fell in love.
I got dumped.
My heart got broken.
I was beyond devastated.

It was a very dark December last year- one I wasn't sure that I'd come out of intact. So I started writing. It was the only thing that helped ease the pain.. it forced me to release it all from my head and my heart so I could try to work through it and eventually, hopefully, let it all go. The darkness craved the words; needing me to feed it and feed it I did.... for weeks on end. Those weeks turned to months. And still, I wrote out my pain. Until I didn't need to anymore.

I don't know what the future holds. None of us do. We can have hopes and wants and dreams, but we never really know. Life changes in an instant. One moment in time and the world as you once knew it completely shifts and altars course.

And it's fucking beautiful. All that uncontrolled chaos.

So, yeah, Brazil. The trip that changed everything in my life, from the deepest parts inside of me to the everyday mundane. The start of a journey I know I'm very much still on. And I'm so thankful for every moment. Every single second has brought me here.

I still can't believe it's been a year.