February 13, 2012

You know what sucks?

You know, there are so many awesome things about self publishing. Like the fact that I don't have to wait to publish the books I write. I can put them out whenever I'm ready! I love that I have control over my stories and characters and I can basically write whatever and however I choose.

I've learned a lot about In Dreams. Don't get me wrong- I absolutely love that story. It's so close to my heart and soul that it hurts a little when people hate it. Because I wrote about something so personal to me, in a fictional way, people assume it's all made up.

It isn't.

But that's not the point.

My point is- i've learned about where I fall short as a writer. I've learned what I need to improve on. That I need a real editor and not just a really good friend who is awesome at punctuation and grammar. lol

I found someone (thanks to J.A. Templeton) and she's awesome. But let me tell you- she definitely reinforces the fact that I still have a long way to go. And while I can write in a fun, breezy and youthful manner- some of my other mannerisms of writing leave a lot to be desired. So i'm learning. Trying really hard to fix where I suck.

And it's hard because I'm so impatient and I can't even tell you how freaking crappy it is to know that I have a book "done" but I can't release it.

Because I shouldn't.

Not until I fix it. And make it better. But it's so hard because as a self published author, you want to put more books out as soon as you have them ready! I want to put it out, but I have to FIGHT with my pride, ego, or whatever the hell it is- and let sanity take over.

I know it will be worth it in the end. The last thing I want is to have another case of what In Dreams has turned into. Which is where I wish I had a professional editor from the start- so I could have fixed certain things and made the story better. I'm not happy with the way I wrote it now and I'd love to rewrite it so that everyone who read it would love it. But I can't do that. I have to let it go. I have to walk away from it and move forward. But it feels sort of crappy knowing that you aren't 100% pleased with something that you've put out for people to buy.

Anyway, I don't want that to happen with Chance Encounters. And I don't want it to happen with Before the Dreams. I want every book from here on out to just get better and better. But I have to work, research, learn, observe, read and write A LOT MORE for that to happen.

So have patience with me. Because I still have a lot of work to do on Chance Encounters before I'll be happy enough to release it. I don't want to look back and wish I could fix it, or update it, or change it. I want to feel good about it, even after time has passed. You know what I mean?

So in the meantime, I'll be reading some- taking some notes- and trying to figure out how to incorporate some writing magic into my writing. It's going to take me a little longer than I planned to do it, but I think it will be worth it in the end.

But just so you know, I really, really, really, really, really, freaking hate making you wait for my next book. I just want it out NOW!!!!! lol

I guess I better get back to work. :)

2 comments:

  1. Terri Federico-BrownFebruary 14, 2012 at 10:41 AM

    It is as hard on us to have to wait to read your books as it is for you to have to wait to put them out. But we will be patient as we wait for you to make it perfect!!! In Dreams was amazing so I am so excited for Chance Encounters and Before the Dreams but it will be a good way for me to practice my patience skills..LOL Just keep writing and you will make us all happy :) You are an amazing writer and we are proud of you!

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  2. You do great! I know it! I'm excited to read book 2 whenever it is ready! :)

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